I came across this rendition of the Twenty-third Psalm during my college days, though I’m not sure where it was that I found it. Also, I’m not a fan of King James-ese language, but this is how I found it and wrote it down.
The Twenty-third Channel
The TV set is my shepherd. My spiritual growth shall want.
It maketh me to sit down and do nothing for His name’s sake because it requireth all my spare time. It keepeth me from doing my duty as a Christian because it presenteth so many good shows that I must see.
It restoreth my knowledge of the things of the world and keepeth me from the study of God’s Word. It leadeth me in the paths of failing to attend the evening worship services and doing nothing in the kingdom of God.
Yes, though I live to be one hundred, I shall keep on viewing my TV as long as it will work, for it is my closest companion. Its sound and its pictures comfort me.
It presenteth entertainment before me and keepeth me from doing important things with my family. It filleth my head with ideas that differ from those set forth in the Word of God.
Surely no good thing will come of my life, because my TV offereth me no good time to do the will of God; thus I will dwell in spiritual poverty all the days of my life. –Wm. Sears, M.D.